It is the creative potential itself in human beings that is the image of God. -Mary Daly

i feel like i've always been somewhat of a creative and crafty person. i know i get that from my mother, who has the talent of an excellent seamstress and graphic designer. she can make beautiful quilts, costumes, stockings, alter a high school banquet dress and create amazing designs using programs on a computer i won't even dare to try and use. she's also quite musical, however unsuccessful she was forcing me to take piano lessons and play saxophone in elementary school.

my favorite class was always art, i doodled like you wouldn't believe on school notebooks and posters, and had quite an impressive wall to wall collage of a certain celebrity heart throb, who for the sake of parties involved will remain nameless. my aunt introduced me to beading years ago, and i would whip up earrings pretty quickly. mom taught me to crochet, and i'm not sure if i ever made anything, but i sure remember doing it alot. i'm now the token christmas cookie baker for my dad, whose fondest childhood memories were of the deep freezer stocked with any cookie you could think of. (i intend to fill those shoes one day.)

i debated going to college to study interior design, but God led me to JBC to study education, a job just as equally creative. i was introduced to Tim, who bought me an art easel for my birthday one year and at one point, owned a few pieces i actually got around to painting. i served on a retreat committee for several years at JBC and worked to design the advertising, decorate the stage, and create interesting aspects of worship. i even asked for a nice camera for christmas and spent a year trying to take some cool photos. stained glass has even made the list.

i've dabbled in a few things here and there, but never really found "my thing" that i do, ya know? i felt like everyone had a "thing". i was alright at a few different things, and i definitely enjoyed all of it. i never really took off with any of it, though. i don't know if it had to do with my incredibly NON-overachiever personality, lack of consistency, or just lack of passion. it's always bothered me, though. why did i find interest in a hobby or creative outlet, and then just...stop?

enter isaac.

i've never been someone interested in a career. yes, i have a graduate degree and have been working full time since college, but it's just not my thing. i don't go in early or stay late, and i don't ever really bring anything home unless painstakingly necessary. i'd like to say my priorities are just so in check that i naturally put family and things first, but that's ridiculous. my dad raised us with the idea that "a job is what you do, not who you are." some would highly disagree with that statement, but for my sisters and mom and I, it meant that he would do anything for us, no matter the financial cost or risk of losing a job. he's still being tested on that today.

now that i've had a taste of being a stay-at-home mom, i feel like i finally have time to figure out who i really am, what i like, and what i'm good at. it's definitely been a slow start, just recovering from everything, but my attitude has changed and my mind's been racing with the possibilities of what i can focus on now instead of work. in some weird way, i feel like having children has given me the assignment of finding out how to make things myself and find ways to make life easier, simpler and more healthy for me and my family. this has dangerously sparked my interest on the creative side of my brain. there are endless ways to be creative and domestic, two things i think i could be really good at if i dedicated myself to it. i'm addicted to websites and blogs of moms who have successfully lived that lifestyle of the cleaner, greener, and super artsy. i have ideas that pop in and out of my brain, just dying for me to get up and get going.

i'm ready to have something in my life that i'm willing to dedicate my all to. i believe with all my heart that the Lord we love and serve has planted every single creative seed in me for a reason. after all, who better to imitate in life than the Master Creator? tim always tells his students "Be Jesus." i'm ready to give life to the ideas and passions in my head and truly, TRULY enjoy what i'm doing with my time. my Jesus and my marriage have set the stage for a very creative version of me that i'm excited to get to know. i want to be Jesus, and that means finding the paint brushes, making a trip to JoAnn fabrics after i make a batch of organic muffins and researching which vegetables grow best in pots.

here's to staying focused and exploring who God made me to be in this world.