16 weeks & family time

this weekend, i was able to fly home and surprise most of my family. it was a chance to see lots of people i've missed dearly and help ashley get a jump on wedding plans. i hadn't been home in over a year, and with the baby coming i'd probably not be home in another whole year until ashley's wedding. it was due time. tim was unable to come, however, and that bummed him (and many others) out greatly. i actually flew in thursday, only to get in a car for 6 hours (not my favorite) and trek to Pennsylvania to see my Aunt Jen and cousin, Bonnie. Sarah met us there from her summer camp for the weekend, along with one of her best friends and we all had a great time. My aunt lives in a gorgeous historical home in downtown Carlisle and i think it was the first time in years that it had just been "the girls" home without any boys in tow. Needless to say, my dad was in seventh heaven and it was very hard for me to imagine the possibility of bringing a boy into the family.


i'm now starting my 16th week and (i know i say this every time) but am rounding the corner of sick and tired. let's forget the fact that i was in bed at 9:30 last night, and focus on the fact that i do feel a little more energetic every day...a very good thing with school coming up next month! i feel like i balloon out a little more each day and am currently in the market for new pants.

13 1/2 weeks

So the belly pictures begin...mostly for my friends and family who aren't close to watch me grow. :) I've always had a "pooch" but Tim says it's obviously a baby bump now.

I had another doctor's appointment this morning. Nothing groundbreaking...heard the heartbeat, which doc says is nice and strong around 150's. Now that my nausea is *fingers crossed* slowing down, everything has become a lot more enjoyable. Doctor said at one point, "This is too easy." I hope it stays that way! So far, God has been so amazing and given us nothing but better-than-great news at every appointment and ultrasound so we're praying that it continues that way. We've seen the baby move early on, and even been able to identify all developing anatomy (like in the picture from last post). In early August, we'll have a "formal" ultrasound (I suppose I should dress up?) and hopefully be able to determine the sex of the baby!

In the meantime, I'm doing my best to eat as many fresh fruits and veggies as I can and take naps whenever my body tells me it just...can't...go...on. I am so thankful that the timing worked out for me to be off of school during the "ugh" part of pregnancy. God sure has His hand in every detail of this little one's life.

Tim and I are headed back up to Michigan this weekend to Grand Rapids, where we'll spend a long weekend celebrating our 2nd anniversary and attending a conference put on by Rob Bell. I'm sure it'll be a relaxing and challenging weekend, but nonetheless...the first vacation we've taken by ourselves since our honeymoon. Probably the last in awhile, too! :)

God bless you all. Love and miss you dearly.

p.s. thanks to nicole for my super cute new maternity shirt! :)

some pictures

this is a lovely shot of the blood vessel that burst in my eye...a result of major vomiting the first trimester of pregnancy....yeah, real fun.

I never have much motivation for amazing new updates. I hope you still read.

Tim is at Jr High camp this week, so it's been me and the pup keeping each other company while he's gone. So far, it's been a pretty boring week...but it's been salvaged by going to eat with Tim's parents and The Bachelorette party with the Canfields - always an adventure. I passed on Troy's second trip to the Frito Lay factory for dumpster diving. I'm sure I missed out on an entertaining hour, but I will have to eat through the many jars of salsa before we're ready for another load of perfectly good day old bags of chips and cookies. A grand idea...welcome to being friends with the most thrifty people I know. :) Katrina has lots of good tips for saving a buck with baby products as well. I now know how to make my own laundry detergent and baby wipes- genius! Tim and I are excited to have friends who can pass on little things like that...as well as eat an entire pan of brownies with us! :)

I think (fingers crossed) I'm over the sick part of being pregnant. I have never been more grateful that school is over with than I was last week. Tim said I looked like I'd been run over by a truck and all I wanted to do was sleeeeeeep. Thankfully, I got it under control with a little help from a nausea prescription and figuring out the right foods and time of the day to eat. I'm going on 5 days in a row without morning sickness, so let's pray it's over! I'm just shy of the 12 week mark so we're hopeful that those sick days are behind me. Tim has been amazing through all my laziness and puking....setting alarms for me when I fall asleep without knowing at 8pm...making peanut butter sandwiches with my request at 10:30...setting crackers and water by my bedside...letting me sleep as long as needed, etc. He's been wonderful, and I can't imagine how helpful he'll be when the baby really comes. Which he's convinced is a boy.

Not really sure what's on the agenda for today...right now Marley and I are sitting on the porch trying to figure out if it's going to rain. I may head down to Greenfield for some quality Gooch time and then who knows. It's hard for me not to just shop til I drop when I have nothing else to do! The goal of this week was to get some major cleaning and organizing done, but I seem to find other things to take priority.

We're at CIY in Michigan next week, so hopefully I'll have a few pictures and awesome "this is how God moved" stories to tell. Looking forward to going with Tim on all these trips this summer...won't be able to for long!

major update!

ok, so 2 months without an updated blog....very sorry.

there have been some very exciting and new things lately:

1. school's OVER!!!! woohooo! now i am packing my bags and following Tim around the country. we have lots of fun trips planned, and i'm excited i am able to go on all of them!

2. i'll be moving up to teach 2nd grade next year (very excited). the older, the better. whew..

3. we're PREGNANT! we just had an ultrasound today and got to see the baby squirming and kicking like crazy! i'm not sure what to think about that already...i feel like i'm already having to keep up with it...tim thinks it'll be just like his mom. we all know he's pretty easy to keep up with:) keep checking back for more updates. we couldn't be happier or feel more blessed! we love you all that have been praying so hard along with us. i feel very much unworthy of having such a short journey to get here.

just sell all your stuff and eat bean sprouts

i've always had great ambitions to organize...and reorganize...my life in terms of housekeeping, work, cooking, storage, etc. etc. i think to an extent, every woman dreams of perfect organization and impeccable systems.

i am a sucker for systems. maybe it's the teacher in me...? i get a kick out of watching Kate Gosselin organize her crazy everyday life, and i naturally gravitate towards the plastic storage aisles in stores. i think that side of me will really show once we have children and i have to resort to making sure more than just myself is taken care of and looks somewhat put together.

to go along with that, tim and i have always dreamt of simplifying our life. we have only been married a few months shy of two years, and have already way too much stuff. the house we're renting is too big for us (we think) and we would love to live in a simpler time with less stuff. it's exciting to think and dream of ways we can do that. i am blessed to have married an old soul...a man who wants nothing more out of life than a good beer, a fire, and people he loves to discuss Jesus with. that's someone i want raising my children.

i think along with simplifying our lives, it's our way of saying, "there are other things that are more important." of course, anyone who knows us knows we love a good shopping trip just as much as anyone else but we're constantly challenged by finding the best deals. does that justify? probably not. tim and i also get excited about the thought of one day raising a child in those same values. we want to raise them to be different than the world. we want to raise children who TRULY appreciate the simple things in life and love Jesus more than anyone could possibly imagine.

i've read a lot of things lately that convince me that our diets and the products we use all the time have a major impact on our lives and health. i'm personally trying to stick to a certain diet and avoid disgusting substances (mountain dews, candies, processed foods with way more dyes and chemicals than should be legal) in order to restore my own health and body. a book to read if you think i'm crazy - The Maker's Diet. it's eye opening for sure, and it'll make you think twice about what you buy at the grocery. you'll probably still think i'm crazy. i've realized i've even incorporated my newly discovered beliefs to the dog's diet. she still eats normal dog food, of course, but i'm a lot more likely to throw some apple slices in her dish now. i figured that's what she would've eaten in the Garden, so why not? i don't even want to read the label on the Puppy Chow.

i think we're on our way to simplifying our lives and truly living in consideration of the planet. we're not super freaks who only eat hummus and bean sprouts (even though i grew up on both of those) but we're slowly leaning towards wholesome living in any way we can:

-we're avid recyclers
-we're growing a community garden for our fruits & veggies this summer w/ friends
-we're trying (that's more for me) to shop more at Goodwills for practical things...did you know Target will donate their BRAND NEW items to area Goodwills when they can't sell them??? best thing i ever discovered. brand spankin' new sassy shoes for 2.99? yes, please.
-i've always tried to buy organic, but sometimes the budget just will not allow. more and more mainline grocery stores (Kroger, Meijer) have plenty of organic options at reasonable prices.
-we're hoping to have a major garage sale this spring with things we thought we'd touch but never have

oh, and tim won't let me buy bottled water. it's the nalgene and a brita filter for this girl. he's also not cutting his hair, but i'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with going green. it's pretty sexy, though, now that it's getting real long. just my opinion. :)

well, you're very welcome for a long mindless post all about me. *sigh. i guess that's okay, with a blog. it would be wrong to write about others.

if you have any green/organic/organizing tips to share....please feel free!

love you all.



oh, and one more thing to get off my chest. hi, i'm courtney and i'm reading the twilight series.

...

Marley thought it'd be a bright idea to eat a pack of light bulbs while I was sleeping.

i survived a college campus

i feel as if the last 2 months, my body is attacking itself. i feel run through the mill in a thousand different ways of being sick. right now, i'm trying to shake the flu/cold/cough/stuffy nose symptoms before i go back to another week of school with germy kiddos. the weather is only holding at about 50 something and i'm begging for it to be warm so i don't have to deal with cold wood floors and jackets in the morning anymore.

tim is on his way back from cincinatti with some of our kids. they went to a CIY discipleship weekend-another thing i wish i could've been in on. instead, i got to take PRAXIS tests to keep up the process of turning my TN teaching license into IN. however, the tests i'm required to take were the ones that most undergrads take, if they even have to based on ACT scores. good ole' IN requires i take 'em, no matter what smarty pants things you can show on your previous exemption scores. so there i was, at 7:30 in the morning, trying to find my way around a major university (which i've barely even been to) in the dark. i had copied down directions the old fashioned way, since tim took the gps with him, and realized that i was all too dependent upon the stupid thing.

i pulled into Ball State's campus and actually managed to locate the correct building. oh, but now i need to find parking. around a few blocks, i luckily followed another car of obvious students (MO license plates) to the LAST metered parking spot left within a few blocks of the building. i had a few minutes to zip into the building and find my room and testing site before they'd stop letting people in. i basically followed the crowds of other kids (yes, they were very young)into a building w/ a PRAXIS sign on the door.

the lady at the table said, "oh no, dear. your test is across the street." ok, so the building right out these doors and across the street? well, kindof. go out these doors, you'll see a long building. that's north quad. burkhardt building sits on blah blah blah. whatever. i'll find it. i walk outside, and realize- oh yeah, it's still dark. i can't see street signs and of course ALL THE BUILDINGS LOOK THE SAME. i scared some poor student to death when i ran up to her and asked where the building was. she pointed, and i ran over to walk right into my seat. prayers do work. God knows he needs to place directionally competent people in my path-always.

the test is over, and i have an hour and a half until my next one. i'm not even going to dare to leave the building. i wander the halls and look for a restroom. ok, there's the mens'. ladies? nada. i look around and just go into the mens'. quickly, quickly. it seemed like a funny skit when i was peeking around the door to make sure no one was in the hallway. ah, no one will know. (well, except you guys.)

i sat and read for awhile, ate an apple (brain food), read the posters on the wall. then i decided to set my alarm on my cell phone and just nap. i wasn't asleep for ten minutes, when i my arm slid off of the ledge and i jerked awake in a short panic, startling the 19 year olds that were now waiting outside with me.

quite a morning. needless to say, it's a good thing i went to a small school with only so many buildings...and signs for each one of them. and equal access to restrooms.

:)

updated

so our trip to Knoxville was so great. exactly what we needed...everything from the warmer weather, the view of the mountains, to reconnecting with GREAT friends and spending time with the whole family. i saw everyone that i wanted to see while i was there, and it was fantastic. it was really tough to remain positive when we were driving back to good ole' Anderson. we miss Knoxville so much and are so ready to go back and live there. the timing will be right eventually.

tim and i have been taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class through our church. i absolutely love it because i feel so much more educated with so many financial things now. we've finally put together a budget (our first one ever!) and will hopefully be really disciplined about sticking with it. it's amazing how much farther money can go when it's properly managed. we're really looking forward to paying off our small, but annoying, debts and saving for the future. i HIGHLY recommend anyone to take his class...it's incredibly educational. i'm glad we finally have someone kicking our butt and telling us how dumb we've been previously.

when i was going through our budget the other day (yes, i'm the nerd in the household who LOVES to be the budget-keeper) i mentioned to tim how we have no money set aside in case anything breaks in our house such as washer/dryer, tv, stove, etc. we laughed about how crappy our washer and dryer were since the buttons have come off and you literally had to stick your fingers into the machine to find the on switch. real safe, i'm assured. they were given to me free a few years ago from my parents' neighbors who used them when THEY got married. seriously old. no sooner than a few days later, one of our youth sponsors tells Tim he has something he wants to bring us. low and behold, he brings us a new dryer. God sure does take care of us...and even BEFORE things actually break! i'm definitely impressed. we both had to chuckle about our conversation and decided we need to start mentioning things like that more often. :) it's so awesome when God's people take care of each other.

nothing else new to report. still truckin' through the school year and trying not to kill any of the kids:) we only have about 12 weeks of school left, which i feel will fly by pretty quickly. who knows what next year will bring!

alright, i'm off to try and motivate myself to go work out. wish me luck. i've already spent too much time blogging instead of going.

wednesday

i wish i had a picture. last night, i came home early from our Dave Ramsey class, and walked upstairs to let Marley out. lately, we've been just keeping her in our bedroom instead of her kennel so she can roam around a little more and not be penned up so long. usually, she does great and hasn't taken much interest in anything except having the bed to herself. i opened the door, and it was just like a movie scene. a chocolate lab standing in the middle of the floor, covered with little white feathers and feathers still floating all around her. yes, she had decided to eat the tag off of our down comforter, and then realized how fun that was when the feathers kept flying about. the remainder of the evening was spent by me sweeping up as many teeny tiny feathers as i could find, and with her chasing what was left and occasionally hacking up a few that she had swallowed. she never ceases to amaze us.

i just finished reading Betsy's blog about the spring-like weather in TN, and it made me so excited for spring as well. I love the first day you can wear sandals, and not have to take a jacket with you. I love leaving windows open and sitting out on the porch. I love being barefoot. I've always been that way, even as a kid, and therefore I need multiple pedicures throughout the year...

The 12 inches of snow just melted, and then we're supposed to get 1-3 inches of rain on top of that. It's pretty soggy up here in Indiana, but as much as I loved the snow...I'll be ready to move on. I can't believe it's more than halfway through the school year and I'll be sending the kiddos on in no time.

Lately, I've been thinking about making a big change in teaching. There may be an opportunity to teach a higher grade, like fifth or sixth. I've student taught in sixth grade before, and while I was incredibly intimidated going in, I loved it! I loved being able to really discuss social issues and work on writing persuasive essays. I loved that they could do things for themselves!! Oh, that would be sweet relief. Don't get me wrong, first grade has always been a fun grade to teach, but I think I'd love the challenge of teaching older kids. I am about done with the whining and tattletaling, not being able to tie their own shoes, picking noses, etc. I didn't go to school 5 years to run a daycare. That would be a big change and a lot of extra preparation on my part, but it sounds soooo good these days. Am I cut out for the job? The worst thing ever would be to get the class that laughs in my face (eye to eye I'm sure) and doesn't take a thing seriously. It's one thing to discipline a 6 year old, but quite another when they're you're same size.

Lots of changes to come, I'm sure. Especially with the seasons. Rest assured, we're keeping Marley forever, staying in this house, and remaining in Anderson until told otherwise;)

Only 2 weeks til Knoxville!

this belongs on a myspace bulletin...but for the sake of a blog, what the heck.

keep in mind, i have a teeny tiny ipod that hasn't been updated in a year or so. wear it.

1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! DON'T CHEAT OR YOU'RE LAME


IF SOMEONE SAYS "ARE YOU OK" YOU SAY?
"Alcohol" Brad Paisley.....hahahaha. is that bad?

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Carolina Blues" Blues Traveler....apparently I'm stuck in 7th grade, sad, and belong on the east coast.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"I've Loved Enough to Know" Deanna Carter....oh, more true than you know.


WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"What Am I to You?" Norah Jones....hm.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Sunrise" Norah Jones....no, I don't think the sun rises and sets on me.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Waiting on the World to Change" John Mayer.....SO true.

WHAT IS 2+2?
"Undertow" Sara Bareilles....that's a dumb one.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"My, Oh My." The Wreckers.....hahaha. very suitable.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"My Dear Country" Norah Jones...wha?

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"She's Everything" Brad Paisley...yes, I am very much loved.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Seasons Change" Corinne Bailey Rae

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Lost" Michael Buble....I'm sure at one point they did.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Lay Me Down" The Wreckers.....haha, oh my. ;)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Don't Miss You at All" Norah Jones.....ouch.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"I'm Your Man" Michael Buble....i gotta put more songs on here.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Winter" Eastmountainsouth

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Some Mistakes" Brad Paisley....yes, but weren't they fun!?

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" John Mayer.....I can imagine that would suck.

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Scotch & Chocolate" Nickel Creek....hey, at least I'll be happy.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Glass" Ingrid Michaelson.....interesting..?

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"It's Not You It's Me" Little Willies....so true. I can really crack myself up.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"All At Sea" Jamie Cullum


WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"I'd Like To" Corinne Bailey Rae.....have I not already? then what WAS that?

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"Your Man" Josh Turner ....yes, he does.

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Die Alone" Ingrid Michaelson....yikes, my funeral does not sound promising.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Love Ain't Worth Making" Deana Carter....um? i beg to differ?

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"The Uncloudy Day" Brad Paisley

see far in a snow storm

another delay for school tomorrow due to winter weather in good old Indiana...I saw on the news today that so far in our winter season, we've accumulated a total of 22.6" of snow. yipes. a tad different from my marshy homeland on the east coast of Virginia. still, i am with Tim when I think that if it's going to be THIS cold, it might as well snow.

ya know, that's the ONLY thing I could find that was wrong with Knoxville. i'm not sure if i remember a GOOD snow in all my 5 years of living there. yeah, we had a few random snow days, but only because Sevier County schools were pretty skittish.

Tim and I are going back in a few weeks to rent a cabin with family and celebrate my sister's birthday. it's like we're going to Disney World; we are SO excited! we have plans to reunite with friends we haven't seen in way too long and just enjoy being back home.

i'm not sure if it's the arctic Indiana winter, but we are missing Knoxville more than ever. Tennessee in general brings back pleasant memories for both of us, and we both agreed we felt like it had seemed like home. we fell in love, made life long friends, and made some pretty big life decisions all within the walls of the Smoky Mountains and Vol territory.

i almost typed that i learned who Jesus was in TN as well. but while Tim and I were trudging through the ice and snow to meet his parents for dinner tonight, we discussed how our views of Christ, the Church, and the American Christianity have changed so drastically in the last year that even we were surprised by it. i realized how different i am now. yeah, my life changed drastically in so many ways in TN, but it's here in IN that i feel like i found Jesus. like, the real Jesus. the one who had opinions and feelings. the one who said some things that i never really thought were like him. the one who tells people that if they even so much look back to say goodbye to his mother, he is not fit to be a disciple. the Jesus who wants to restore the people and the Earth that he made to live in unison with each other. the one who expects love. the Jesus that never built a building to be a church.

i'm learning that being the church is SO much simpler than we've created it to be. keyword: we.

gosh. we have a lot of work to do.

six months later...

ok, so if you have thought, "today i'll check courtney's blog. i know it's been almost six months, but MAYBE she updated. i can just feel it." good for you! if not, understandable. i am the guilty one. but nonetheless, i am back.

let's just recap the last six months. here's what i've learned (in a very small nutshell):

-teaching is easier and harder than i imagined.
-God is so much closer and sometimes farther than i imagined.
-Jesus isn't who I thought He was...in a very good way.
-Tim is so much more than the picture of any man I dreamed of one day marrying

Those are only the broadest few things I could think of to recap several months, but they are still true. So let's see...

We are a few weeks shy of marking our first full year in youth ministry here in Indiana. There are certain people that pull at our hearts here that we now cannot bear to think of ever being without. Kids are starting to show us what they're learning and what we've said about Jesus that stuck in their heads.

I'm leading a 7th/8th grade girls small group on Sunday nights, and it's scary how much of myself I see in them. I love the relationship I have with them- a relationship that I had with my youth minister's wife once upon a time that changed my life as well. It's a humbling and fragile place to see myself in.

Our baby, a now 8 month old chocolate lab, is now reaching the huge category and is so much more part of our tiny family than we thought an animal could be. She is loving life, rawhide bones, apple slices and the 6 inches of snow.

My family was able to come visit over Thanksgiving, which was a blast. I'd never had the chance to be hostess for a major holiday and I loved it (minus the strep throat part). We had a low-key Christmas in Noblesville with Tim's family, which was great..especially since his dad is still recovering from a massive heart attack he had in the beginning of December. It was one of those, " I never thought it'd happen to me..." moments for us as a family.

2009 is well into full swing now, and I feel like it's a black canvas. I have no idea what it holds. Tim and I are on the edge of so many big things in our tiny little life as man & wife...it's a grand thing that God is so big. We have bigger dreams and desires than ever, and we know the God who can make them all come true.

room 124

i actually survived the first full week of teaching first grade. barely. i found myself on a friday night, laid out on the living room couch watching a movie and literally aching from being so busy lately. it's still strange to me that i'm a teacher. it's such a huge responsibility and a lot of stress, especially being in a new school and having to learn new systems, new people, etc. i have a crazy group of kids this year...2 autistic boys, one that didn't even go to kindergarten (which isn't required in IN-stupid), a girl that was suspended AS A KINDERGARTENER for slapping other kids, and then 18 more students. on thursday, i put them all on the bus and then sat at my desk and cried. i know i'll get through it and somehow, i'm still loving it, but i'll go up against anyone who says, "gosh, it must be nice working 7 to 3 and having summers off." even still, there's nothing in the world like teaching.

hopefully once the weeks go by, i'll get more into routine and have this down pat. any prayers in my direction (north, for most of you) would be appreciated! also...there's something to be said about kids who can already read.

marley is growing by leaps and bounds every single day. she loves running laps around the house and diving in the ivy in the front yard. she found out that she loves playing in the creek beside our house and in seconds, was covered head to toe in mud and water from digging frantic holes in the creek bed. it was hilarious, and tim and i loved just letting her be a dog. she's definitely a daddy's girl - tim and marley aren't found too far from each other at any time.

my baby sister moved into college last week, and that officially leaves my parents as empty nesters. i'm not sure how well that will be handled...anyone who knows my dad, knows that he likes his girls close, with more walking in the door. everyone's coming to our house for Thanksgiving this year, including the grandparents. It'll be a giant Fair/Blum thanksgiving....watch out.

i can't believe we've already been at this ministry for 7 months. we are missing tennessee like crazy every day and still have hopes to get back some day. in the meantime, there are things happening at the church that still keep us feeling like we're being used here. kids are over more often, sharing more, trusting us with more. there are several people who just came out of the woodwork to start getting involved in the youth, which i told Tim is a big compliment. we are getting ready to kick off student small groups, and Tim's been hitting us hard with the importance of community and love. (go figure, huh?:))

well, time for cleaning the house and working on lesson plans. love you all.

and life picks up again...

we've been absolutely crazy busy since last time i blogged. everything is about to change (again) and after this, i'll be ready to settle down for quite awhile. new job, new dog, new house. goodness.

we found a great home for our psycho weimaraner at the weim rescue in louisville and got talked into a free chocolate lab puppy. we named her Marley (no relation to Bob...although they are the same color and tim's a big fan) and she's wonderful. possibly the cutest dog i've ever seen, and she's pretty laid back and enjoyable to have. we're still working on potty training, but she's a great puppy.

we are moving into another rental home, and have been doing a lot of work on it today. we deep cleaned and painted some today and there's quite a bit left to go. it's a cape cod style house on almost a full acre lot, with hardwood floors and a great big living room. i'm going to really love the yard and the quiet neighborhood. Marley already loves the yard and the rabbits that like to come by, although i'm sure they won't stay long. everything worked out with finding a renter for our current house so we could break our lease, and we're moving next week.

in the meantime, i'm in the process of moving into my new classroom as well. i'm not kidding when i say it's probably the nicest classroom i've been in...in all 5 years of field experiences and internships, i've never seen a school this nice. it's going to be great, and the staff i've met so far are wonderful. i still have a few things to come together with my Indiana teaching license, which makes me nervous so close to school starting...but God will make it happen, just like everything else up to this point!

it's all a bit overwhelming, but tim and i both agree that we're starting to feel a little more at home in the odd little town of Anderson, and we're really enjoying this ministry. we still have plenty of places we'd love to live and visit...but for now, i'm loving Indiana summers and learning about combines and corn fields.

old and married

so things are looking up, and God is faithful, always providing. also, Tim and i just passed our one year anniversary. crazy.

we finally got our stimulus check, so Tim's car has hope of being repaired, or turned in...whichever is cheaper.

Tim surprised me (well, tried to)with tickets to the Brad Paisley concert last Thursday for my birthday. Kenny & Nicole came up for dinner, and we all went to the concert together. It was a lot of fun, and one of my favorite birthdays, as simple as it was. Good friends, good music, and a cookie cake. Oh, and a JOB OFFER. The principal from the elementary school I recently interviewed with called on my birthday to offer me a first grade teaching position. The day was complete.

we're also considering moving. not states, cities, churches, etc. but to another house. when the bugs kept falling out of the ceiling, and the termites had managed to unhinge the sliding glass door, it was almost the last straw on this house. i love being renters when stuff like that happens...just have to make a phone call! don't get me wrong, we're grateful that we had it to move into, since we only had a day to look while we were here, but opportunities present themselves and we are definitely considering. we had looked at this particular house months ago, just out of curiousity, but declined, knowing that it was much too soon and more than likely out of our price range. plus, the thought of actually committing to a place was terrifying.

the house situation was long forgotten when Tim got a phone call from the owner about a week ago. he was curious if we were still interested in buying the house, and if not..maybe renting? our ears perked up for sure, and we just chuckled that it was "so weird" that he called us out of the blue months later....but on the same week i finally landed a teaching job...and the same week we had both finally felt at home at BCC. weird?

i sat in the driveway of this possible house (don't worry, no one lives there) on Sunday afternoon, unbeknownst to Tim...praying that if God wanted us to plant seeds in the Anderson community and start to grow roots, that we needed a clear sign. i didn't want to just try and justify a great house for all its perks when it could clearly be a major financial mistake. and yes, i can usually convince myself of almost anything.

not even an hour later, Tim started a conversation about random things he'd been thinking since having a great day at church that morning, finally feeling at home, and finally seeing relationships with kids being established. it was one of those conversations where you take turns saying, "Yeah! Me too!"

once again, we fight the blurred vision that we have as fallen people and try to clear up how to know between God's plan and just odd coincidence. how to be wise and a person of faith at the same time.

huh.

God?

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Romans 12:15-16

i can't believe i've let so much time slip by between posts. grandad, i promise i'll start updating more often because i love your comments. :)

i've just returned from a whirlwind of life changing events. all in about 10 days' time, my youngest sister graduated from high school, and two of my very best friends have gotten married. i had a final job interview at a promising school this morning, and am still trying to shake this awful cold/flu thing that my lovely sister Ashley started for us all at the beach. needless to say, i'm exhausted.

my body is weak and tired, but it's an exact opposite reflection of what's going on inside. i'm stronger and more whole because of the last few weeks...it was the most beautiful thing i've seen in a long time to walk down the long corridor of the Norfolk airport and see my daddy literally bouncing up and down so happy to see me, of course, with a cup of Starbucks as a treat. we both commented how we felt like it was Christmas eve the night before, and kept waking up excited about the next day when we'd all be family back together again.

when my youngest sister ran towards me with tears in her eyes and just wrapped her arms around me when i walked into the skate shop where she works, nothing else in the world mattered. all the car expenses, taxes, dead end jobs, crazy dogs, and heating bills just didn't exist.

when two of my best girlfriends committed themselves to love and honor only one man for the rest of their lives in front of God and family, it was more emotional than on my own wedding day. when your best friend is walking down the aisle in a wedding dress, and all you can see is when she first walked into your dorm room, all sweaty from volleyball practice....it all feels different. i always prided myself on being emotionally stable in difficult or typically sentimental times, not because i had no heart, but because i wanted to make sure someone had their head on straight. not the case lately.

i never realized how protective and proud i was of the people i loved until the last few weeks. seeing my dad absolutely beaming when my sister walked out in her cap and gown; seeing my best friend sing her heart out to her new husband and you know she'd been waiting for exactly that moment since she was 10 (we have proof); and watching another favorite dancing with the man who will always protect her heart....it all fits into place.

i realized that i thrive off of moments like these in life. not because of the emotional highs, but because those highs are just results of years of trials, laughs, and just getting through life together.

i hope everyone has those moments where they live through the joy of other people they love. there's nothing like it. and i believe with all my heart that that's what God's greatest desire is....to beam from ear to ear because of the joy in the hearts of those He created.

where's my easy button?

i'm officially homesick. it's been months in indiana, and i'm homesick. but not just for my family, whom i do miss dearly, but for a sense of purpose and the "easier" life we had in virginia. in a conversation with tim the other day, he mentioned how he missed virginia because life seemed easier there. i bluntly reminded him, "well, we had more money and less bills." we laughed, but only half-heartedly. i've got to admit, when people ask me how we like it here, i have to think a little more than usual to answer. i want to say, "oh, we love it." but sometimes, i don't. but only because i feel like i have no sense of purpose driving 30 minutes south to work an hourly job that most of the time, i get let go early, and therefore only working enough hours to pay for that day's commute. i remind myself that my graduate degree that i worked hard for will go to use soon when i finally land a teaching job and can dive straight into using my talents for that. i remind myself that life isn't about the money, or the fancy jobs, but about the attitude and contentment that you seek in the day to day humility of being responsible and having to do what you need to make ends meet.

it's jobs like this that make me wonder if God had to stick me somewhere to force me to think about what i want out of life. so many times, i just wanted to cut corners with school and not go all the way, working for my graduate degree. i wanted to just "work a job" and be done with it. but now that i'm actually doing that, i want so much more. while dusting at the store today, i saw a mug that read, "Love what you do." i stopped. i thought that meant either of two things: i need to buck up, and appreciate the dollars that ARE coming in and invest in the people around me right now. or it means i need to be more aggressive in life and really strive to do something that i am all out passionate fore.

i think both are true.

i've heard it said before (or maybe it was another mug?) that life is too short to . nothing could be closer to the truth. i have so much i wish i could do, but i know that i won't ever get to do it. or is it that i've just given up already? i get these temporary "rushes" of inspiration to start looking up job opportunities for what i really want to do, and then after Googling for a few hours, i get discouraged again and walk back into the living room, now grumpy.

i thought it'd all start once i graduated college. then i thought it all started when i got married. then i thought it all started when we started over and moved.

but really...where do i start?



p.s. i promise i'll stop complaining soon and start writing something more...uh, uplifting?

lost but found

on a trip farther north to chesterton to surprise my best college friend for her bridal shower, i was refreshed. not only in friendship and the meaning of marriage, but refreshed by two rooms in a building. i walked into both of their classrooms, where they both teach lower elementary school and it was like it all came rushing back. as soon as the smell of dry erase markers and the sight of book baskets hit me, it was already familiar to me. it was the first time i'd been in that school, those rooms, and seen those things...but it was the same. for lack of better words, i just knew that teaching is part of what God has gifted me with to give to the world. i remarked that they seemed so "grown up" with their own classes, something we dreamed about as grad students not too long ago when the endless torture of internships and papers dragged on. i felt a twinge of jealousy and felt almost like i hadn't made it yet. and then i remembered that God's timing is unpredictable and perfect.

through college, i struggled off and on with the desire to teach and the desire to be involved in children's ministry. i knew ministry would have been the "easier" degree and shorter school career, but still stuck with teaching.

when i was offered a children's ministry job right out of college at a place i was already incredibly familiar with, a well endowed paycheck, and a staff i already considered friends, it was a match made in heaven. through the months of figuring out who i was as i sat behind a desk i thought i wanted so badly...i realized that i was created and woven together with threads of passion that only thrived in school hallways and on brightly colored carpets. i was designed to have certain passions and gifts, and God just needed a place to "keep" me for awhile until i realized my place.

the funny thing is, i still don't have a teaching job. i'm sure in foresight, i can only see the frustration and impatience of waiting for a job so in the meantime, i make trips to see friends and let them refuel my passion for life. and the God that loves and speaks through them. and the peace that lets me know that i was created to be a certain, specific someone.

hoosier country living

the past few weeks have been the first time i've EVER seen the city of Anderson without snow or rain or cold. i've never experienced Indiana in the spring or summer. it doesn't even begin to compare to the rolling hills of Seymour, TN but it has its own glory. but now i find beauty in our little backyard, now that the trees finally have leaves and the grass is growing at an incredible rate. i love the purple color of the crepe myrtle and the way the shed sits just right on the hill. i love that in the evenings, if you're quiet enough, you can wait for the white-tailed deer to come walking through the cornfield only several yards from the deck. i love the smell of firepits, almost more common than swimming pools.

on the peninsula in Virginia where we lived, it was nothing but the hustle and bustle of new shopping malls and everything commercially related being cramped together on a peninsula stuffed with growing families wanting wider roads for their SUV's and newer subdivisions for Home Owner's Associations to bicker over. i found things to be proud of in my "home town" like the rich history, the convenient commute to beach life, etc.

Anderson is not that, by any means. oh my, no. i know i often laugh when i'm describing our new town, but then i think...i only hit ONE traffic light on the way to church, i can actually take scenic drives that last longer than a few miles, i am getting used to recognizing combines, Amish stars actually look like they belong on the side of barns, and 200 E is a familiar road to me. in virginia, if you could see for miles it was because you were getting ready to land at norfolk airport. in anderson, it's because you just decided to take State Road 32.

i've never been one to call any state of the U.S. (or any country of eastern europe, for that matter) home for myself. i've moved around so much, i never really had much attachment to one place over the next. i never understood what was so great about taking pride in tractor country.

until i grew up, fell in love with a boy, and followed him back to Indiana.